after my procedure at the hospital today my doctor tried to explain all of the medications he’s putting me on and i was kind of out of it on pain meds and he goes, “and i’m going to be putting you on some serious steroids, do you have any problems with that?”
and apparently i looked at my mom and whispered, “i’ll never play major league baseball” and started crying
Fuk is u
*looks at tagged/me*
O shit wassup tho
MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT
I LOVE SCIENCE TEACHERS
I’M SORRY BUT HOW BADLY DID HE FUCK UP READING HIS CALIPER?
When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS EVER
I WOULD LIKE SOME ANSWERS
well for starters his name was Paul
f-r-e-a-m asked: Oh shit guess what? Im coming out tomorrow. And im coming to Teaberry
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT
did you ever stop to think people are reading this sentence in different accents
how to write poetry like a white person
- the taste of you
- save me
- no wait save yourself
make sure to left align and god forbid touch a capital letter
- girl: babe come over
- boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
- girl: my parents aren't home
- boy: I know